ODD

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OBSESSIVE DAVID DISORDER PAGE

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This was first published on March 17, 2008 at 12:00 PM.

Do you have it? Suffer from it? Is it some kind of sickness?

You bet it is!

This is a page where O.D.D. is somewhat defined and refined.

If you think you qualify by experiencing any of these conditions, leave a comment and tell us about it!

Overview (please remember, this was published during last season’s American Idol):

• You check up on everything David every chance you get!
• Almost total and complete loss of control when David is performing on television.

Symptoms (you must have experienced at least 3 of the following):

• While watching David sing, you wait for it… then you SCREAM like a banshee when you see him lick his lips!
• During American Idol and ESPECIALLY while David is singing, you ask your husband, wife, kids, brother, sister, grandpa, grandma, girlfriend, boyfriend, house guest, friend, cat, dog or goldfish not to dare bother you until Seacrest goes to commercial.
• The phone rings and you immediately say, “I’m NOT here!”
• While dialing in your votes, you have everyone in your house scramble for a phone to do the same.
• At the end of two hours your fingers are numb.
• The phone died because you forgot to charge the batteries!
• You start calling random people so you can brag about how many calls you got through for David.
• During the conversation, you somehow forget or lose count so you make up some impossible number like 1,884 calls.

*While talking to another David fan, you FIRST ask them how many times they got through. If they say “38″, you immediately do a 1-up and and say you got through 39 times just to make them feel bad.
*You call a Claymate, Claymaniac or any Clay Aiken fan from five years ago and talk about how much better David is.
*You call a current or former Taylor Hicks Soul Patroller and brag about David until they hang up on you!
*You have listened to David Archuleta’s rendition of “Imagine” over 50 times.
*You sing David songs in the shower.
*You have more than one photo of David on your desktop.

If you witness any of the following, do not call 911. Just keep a paper bag handy just in case they hyperventilate!

*Extreme symptoms include jumping up and down while David is singing, screaming bursts, high pitch deafening squeaks, one or two birdlike squawks, wailing and talking at the same time, random clapping, acting out like they have a mic in their hand, the constant gasping for air, breathing too much, pointing at the TV set and saying things like, “Look! Oooh, heehee, hoohoo, woohoo!”
*SEVERE symptoms include a temporary lapse of MEMORY or going up to the TV set and lip synching next to David while they’re being videotaped! It’s pretty much bonkers if they end up doing both!

*No one can actually claim O.D.D. in the first 21 days of pronouncing your obsession. But if you find yourself looking for anything that will give you a David fix for 21 days straight after 21 days, you can declare that you have O.D.D.! We will document your standings as an official proud member.

Treatment:

*Are you kidding? Ask any fan out in Lala Land and they will cheerfully say they love having it!

Resources:

*You can find it here. As far as we know, we are the only ones dedicating an entire page to O.D.D.!
*The t-shirts are on the way!

New update: More symptoms submitted by fans to FanBlast:

You know you have O.D.D. when…

* you have 700+ pictures of him
* after he sings on American Idol the song keeps repeating itself over and over again in your head even when other people are singing
* aou have all his songs stuck in your head 24/7 and it’s the only time when you don’t want to get the songs unstuck!
* you’re getting chills when he sings because his voice is just so beautiful.
* you wish that you were the only one who liked him like you do because then he could be your “one and only”.
* he makes you feel “bubbly”, if you know what I mean.
* you know that others know how you feel and say you’re totally obsessed/crazy about him.
* you have pictures of him in your locker, room, phone, purse, dressers, and on your bulletin board and computer desktop.
* your friends are getting annoyed because you talk about him too much.
* you frequently check all of the polls to make sure David is in the lead AND you pass time by helping him get to a million votes before Tuesday at vote4idol.com.
* you risk your 4.0 average by voting with two phones every Tuesday night!!
* everything he sings automatically becomes your “new favorite song”.
* you comment on every single one of his photos.
* you notice every single thing about him; like the fact that he licks his lips a lot and you think it’s adorable.
* you think that no other girl will ever be good enough for him except you.
* you download all of his songs and listen to them over and over again.
* every time you hear “David”, you immediately think “Archuleta”.
* every time you see him on TV, you jump up and scream, “There’s David!” even if it’s just the top of his head.
* you sit up real close to the TV screen when you’re watching him.
* you watch videos of him over and over again and never get tired of it.
* you favorite all of his videos on YouTube.
* you tell people that your favorite colors are purple and yellow.
* you also tell people that Robin Williams and Jim Carrey are your favorite actors.
* you’re openly happy that he is single.
* you wish all guys were like him.
* you get really offended whenever anyone says something negative about him and you defend him like he’s your little brother.
* EVERYONE knows you’re a fan.
* you fought with a friend because they said David wasn’t going to win.
* he’s the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last before you go to sleep.
* you randomly burst out singing songs he sang.
* you don’t pay attention in class because you’re too busy daydreaming about David.
* everyone starts telling you about how obssessed you are with him.
* you start liking Thai food because it’s his favorite food.
* you like anyone else who is a fan.
* you HAVE to watch American Idol.
* his songs are stuck in your head all day.
* you think that everything David does is cute.
* you go on americanidol.com just to see if his interview has been updated.
* you’re convinced that you are destined to meet.
* you look up every single biography/info/article/interview ever written about David because you want to know every single thing about him.
* you used to like this guy but ever since David came along, your feelings for them have faded.
* you hear someone imply that he is not the hottest person alive, you snap at them and question their vision.
* you have already decided that he is going to sing at your wedding (AND he’s going to be the groom!).
* someone suggests that his voice is too raspy, husky, etc. you won’t have any of it and insist that he has the most beautiful, pure, soulful, and sexy voice EVER!
* you love knowing that so many other people love David just like you do.
* you show his videos to your friends, but turn it off before the judges say ANYTHING negative to make sure the comments do not influence their opinions of David.
* you know with 100% confidence that he will be safe on elimination night so you only watch the show to see his part of the group performance and his cute, humble smile when Ryan tells him he is safe!
* you wear a rubber band on your wrist just because he does.
* you watch the girls’ performances just so you can watch David clapping in the background.

Additional O.D.D. Fan input:

Symptoms:
- Screaming, crying, squealing, drooling, going “ga-ga” over anything that has to do with David Archuleta.
- Anxiety attacks during the days of Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
- Feelings of anger and hatred towards anyone who dares to say anything bad about David.
- Feeling that you are indeed David Archuleta’s one and only true love.
- Constantly checking this website for any updates/news/pictures of David Archuleta
- Constantly singing the songs he’s sung before the way he sings it; not the original version. (You actually includ the “doo doo doo” when singing “We Can Work it Out”.)
- Having a playlist of him on your iPod and seeing all of his songs (play count) quadruple the amount you’ve played any other songs in your ipod.
- Your cellphone’s ring tone is one of his songs.
- The need to tell everyone how (insert any synonyms for amazing, talented and cute here) David Archuleta is 24/7!
- Your heart skips a beat when you see him do the sign for the Arch Angels.
- Daydreaming/Dreaming about: David’s scent, what he looks like without a shirt on, how delicious he looked with those (kinda) leather pants, his shirt on the “Let’s Celebrate” Ford Commercial, the “green screen” scene, going to prom with him, when you’re going to get his reply about your fan letter you sent two months ago, what you’re gonna do when you see him during the summer tour, and how you’re going to make him fall in love with you.
- You somehow find yourself linking everything that’s going on in your life, even school, with David Archuleta.
For example:
History Class: “Where are Mormons from?” You answer immediately, “UTAH! cuz that’s where David is from!”
Music Class: *singing Joyful, Joyful* You say, “OMG! David sang this song! It was so amazing!”
Lunch – *sees a piece of pork chop* You say: “Omg! Is that pork chop?! Did you know David’s last name is Archuleta which means pork chop?” (NOTE: the translation for “pork chop” in Spanish is “chuleta”.)
or *sees lettuce* You say: “OMG!! is that lettuce?! DAVID LOVES LETTUCE!!”

- your mindset is:
YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE HIM. LIKE SERIOUSLY LOVE HIM… LIKE NO REALLY. YOU LOVE HIM LOVE HIM. LIKE MORE THAN ANYONE IN THE WORLD. HE’S SERIOUSLY THE ONE FOR YOU. TOTALLY… FOR REAL.
YOU’RE THE ONE AND ONLY SUPREME ARCH ANGEL AND OF COURSE THE:
FUTURE MRS. ARCHULETA AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!!

Side Effects:
- Sunshine days for as long as David is on AI (no matter what the weather foreast says)
- Extreme happiness
- Inability to stop smiling for at least two days
- Intense need to Google and look at David Archuleta pictures & watch – playlist – favorite – ALL youtube videos of him from birth until present day…
- Inability to finish any homework or study on Tuesday and Wednesday nights
- Giving all your money to the Make a Wish Foundation to buy Archuleta merchandise
- Swollen thumbs/fingers due to non-stop voting for the entire two hours.
- Overloaded folders in your computer due to thousands of images and videos of David
- You suddenly like Thai Food; particularly Pad Thai.
- Your grades rose to an A because you managed to link what you learned to David, thus making you learn the material more easily and more enjoyable.

TREATMENT:
Overwhelmingly numbers of people who have signs of O.D.D. or severly suffer from the disease refuse to find/undergo any treatments whatsoever.